Have you ever stepped up and tried Four Loko, a premium malt beverage with artificial flavor, guarana, taurine, caffeine and FD&C blue #1?
No? Why not? You don't like the idea of drinking psuedo-methamphetamine out of a can?
You don't like the odd ticklish sensation Four Loko happily and instantly delivers to your stomach, liver and intestines? Are you ticklish?
Four Loko is for those of us who started with Boones Farm and Mickey's, graduated to Franzia, then moved along the desperate path to alcoholic 'energy' drinks, craving that extra little something, something like Sparks or JOOSE (no I didn't spell that wrong), then craving something even a little more extra. And that extra is FOUR LOKO.
I recommend the blue raspberry flavor. If you have taste buds, stay away from orange and watermelon, even though watermelon, I think, is 13% alcohol per volume. Blue raspberry is 12% alc/vol.. Blue raspberry is the health-conscious version.
The best SPARKS has to offer is the 'red' flavor at 8%...and I think JOOSE tops off at around 8.9% or thereabouts. WEAK!
Come on, FOUR LOKO is for true players. And at around 2.25 per 24 oz., how can you resist? Who cares that after the first 6 oz. you'll lose nearly all inhibitions. By 12 oz. you will not be able to form a solitary coherent thought. You will begin to sweat in areas you've probably never noticed yourself sweating before. You will shake a little. You will probably shake a lot. You will feel like lifting weights. You will feel a bit like Charles Manson feels. GUARANTEED.
Find yourself a can of FOUR LOKO! STEP UP!
And you will pee blue!
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I took a picture of Joose the first time I saw it, it was scary. This is worse. Is the pee REALLY blue, post Loko? Really scary.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it usually is a light tinge of blue if you've had some blue raspberry four loko. Beth doesn't like it when I drink this shit.
ReplyDeleteThose are nights to spend on the couch.
ReplyDeleteoh, and for those who care, Four Loko is 23.5 ounces, not 24 ounces. I had a "Lemonade" flavor Four Loko tonight. And that probably explains why I had two posts tonight, the first posts in four months or something. And they didn't make a bit of sense.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOZB9kpFqh4
ReplyDelete