THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME

A short play about a forgotten song. In reality, I forgot a song, just as described in the play, and decided to make a play out of it. Unlike the play, I never remembered it again. Though it probably sucked anyway.

(Like the other play I posted here, the format is messed up in translation from Word to here, and I do not care.)

THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME

Dave sits at a table in the middle of the room. He is deep in thought, once in a while looking at a notebook on the table.

Erica walks on.

ERICA
(taking off coat)
What a beautiful day! The sun, the air...
(inhales deeply)
It smells funny in here.

DAVE
I came up with a new song today.

ERICA
Oh?

DAVE
Came to me while I was out walking Henri. Then, not long after I got back home, right before I was about to take a nap, I forgot it.

(Erica hangs her coat on one of the chairs at the table.)

DAVE
I had it all in my head--bass line, guitar, synthesizer introduction--everything. And now it’s gone.

(Erica sits down, takes a Tamagotchi out of her pocket.)

ERICA
I found this.

DAVE
I can’t remember the bass line. I can’t remember the key the vocals are supposed to be in. I can’t remember how to phrase the vocals. The only thing I have left are these lyrics.

(He picks up the notebook.)

DAVE
(reading lyrics)
Pain and decay. I see no way to hide. Dissected days. I’ve found no place to find it.

ERICA
Sounds depressing.

DAVE
(reading more lyrics)
Staring at the stars. Looking up but seeing nothing. Trying to look far away. Darkness just reminds you of something.

ERICA
Hm.

DAVE
(reading more lyrics)
While you’re waiting. See you fading. Sit and let it drift away. Can’t think of another thing to say.

(Erica looks at the Tamagotchi.)

DAVE
It’s a love song.

ERICA
Was a love song.

DAVE
Oh, it’ll come back to me.

ERICA
I didn’t know you were a songwriter.

DAVE
Huh? And what about my work with Hot Alfalfa?

ERICA
I just didn’t know you wrote any songs when you were in Hot Alfalfa.

DAVE
Come on, I came up with the name for christ sakes.

ERICA
But did you write any songs?

DAVE
Many.

ERICA
Which ones?

DAVE
Well let’s see...“Strawberry Jam,” “Sitting on a Rain Cloud”...“Let’s All Get High”...Don’t you remember those?

ERICA
I only saw you guys play once.
(puts down Tamagotchi)
I can’t seem to figure this thing out.

DAVE
“Sitting on a Rain Cloud”--that was a great song.

(Erica picks up the Tamagotchi again.)

ERICA
I don’t recall that one.

DAVE
Forget about it.
(pause)
That “thing,” by the way, is called a Tamagotchi.

ERICA
A Tamagotchi. Do you know how a Tamagotchi works?

DAVE
(looking at notebook)
No I do not.

ERICA
What was your new song going to be called?

DAVE
“I’m Just Trying to Love.” Or “I’m Just Trying to Love You.” Which one do you like?

ERICA
They’re both nice...“I’m Just Trying to Love You,” I guess.

DAVE
“I’m Just Trying to Love You.” It was kind of an oldies kind of love song. Not U2 oldies though.

ERICA
U2 oldies?

DAVE
Yeah, well, nowadays, oldies stations get away with playing “Street With No Name” and stuff. “With Or Without You.” That’s not oldies, not in my book. This--my song--was real oldies. The Crystals, Shangri-Las, Phil Spector, Beach Boys, “Help Me Rhonda”--that kind of oldies.

ERICA
I like U2.

DAVE
Everybody likes U2. They’re like pizza. They’re like McDonald’s. But they aren’t oldies.

ERICA
They’re old.

DAVE
The Rolling Stones are old. The Beatles are old. Those guys are ridiculously old, and still, no matter how old they are, no matter how withered and senile, they are classic rock. Not oldies. Now U2, U2 is barely even classic rock. Oldies means ancient. Like dead.

ERICA
Did you take Henri out today?

DAVE
Have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying?

ERICA
Well, I know you forgot a song, a song called “I’m Just Trying to Love.”

DAVE
You. “I’m Just Trying to Love You.”

ERICA
I learned you used to write songs for your band Hot Alfalfa.

DAVE
And I still write songs.

ERICA
(holding up Tamagotchi)
I found out that this little thing is called a Tamagotchi.

DAVE
I still write songs!

ERICA
Do you?

DAVE
(standing up)
Okay, to prove it, I’ll go ahead and come up with one right now.

(He takes a recorder from his pocket, starts to play it, albeit very unskillfully.)

ERICA
I didn’t know you played flute.

DAVE
Well, that’s something else you’ve learned today, isn’t it.

(He plays some more.)

DAVE
(stops playing)
And it’s a recorder, not a flute.

(He resumes his playing. Erica resumes messing around with her Tamagotchi.)

ERICA
I thought you were coming up with a song.

(Dave stops playing.)

DAVE
I am coming up with a song.
(takes a harmonica from his other pocket)
And you’re going to help me. Take this.

(He hands her the harmonica.)

ERICA
I don’t know how to play.

DAVE
That’s not the point.

ERICA
Okay...

(They proceed to play, a chaotic, absolutely unmusical mess. After about ten seconds, Dave stops.)

DAVE
It’s no use.

(Erica stops playing the harmonica. Dave sits down. Erica starts playing again. Dave picks up the Tamagotchi, starts playing with it. After a bit, Dave looks up from the Tamagotchi and at Erica. He seems interested in what she’s playing.)

DAVE
Wait...

ERICA
(stops playing)
What?

DAVE
Play that again, what you just played.

ERICA
Okay...

(She plays again.)

DAVE
That’s it!
(stands up)
That’s it!

(Erica stops playing. Dave goes around the table, hugs and kisses Erica.)

DAVE
That’s the song!

(In joyful celebration, Dave runs off the stage. Erica watches him go, shakes her head in amazement, then, as the lights fade out, plays the harmonica a little more.)


END OF PLAY

HBO

Hey, I've made the bigtime everybody! I have HBO. And I've discovered that although the movies are generally horrible, they have some of the funniest shows on TV since Beavis & Butthead. These shows are:

Bored to Death - Who knew anything with Jason Schwartzman and Ted Danson would be so entertaining, perfectly paced and low-key funny? I wish I came up with the idea for this show: a writer struggling with his second novel who advertises on craigslist as a private detective.

The Life & Times of Tim - Man, this is some of the best lo-fi retarded animation ever. I love the establishing shots, they always seem to have bums sitting against buildings, bums in garbage cans, crazy people yelling at nothing, hookers, etc.. Some of the episodes are sort of one-track duds but the ones that shine really shine. Like the one I watched last night, "The Comeback Sermon," in which Tim has broken up with his girlfriend and has nowhere to live. He tries staying with his friend and sharing his bed, a friend who has night fits and advises Tim to hug him and "stick his leather wallet in his mouth" whenever the fits start. He also tries staying with his sex-crazed priest.

Eastbound & Down - A show about a mullet-sporting, self-centered, coke-snorting ass whose once glorious professional baseball career is over and done with, leaving him mooching off his brother's family, sleeping on their couch, and substitute teaching at his old high school.

And "The Pacific" isn't funny at all, but is refreshingly well-done. No shaky cams, overdone cgi crap, just straight-up war in the jungle awesome.

Ann Arbor Film Festival

The Film Festival here in Ann Arbor, the longest-running experimental and independent film festival in North America, starts this Tuesday. Lots of awesome stuff to see. I already have tickets for the Diamond Pivot Bright program of short films in competition on Wednesday night (preceeded by a rare, silent 10-minute 8mm of Iggy and the Stooges in NYC in '73), as well as Saturday night's "An Evening with Kenneth Anger" which will screen four early-ish K. Anger shorts, including "Scorpio Rising." I've seen all of these about ten times each, and even own the dvd sets, but never seen them on a big screen. The totally unsurpassably sweet thing is that the films are followed by an on-stage conversation between the 80-something Kenneth Anger himself (!!) and some NYC critic!

Also piquing my interest:

-Harry Smith's "Heaven & Earth Magic" (aka Film No. 12) with live musical accompaniment by Black Lotus on Friday night.

-Short documentaries by Pavel Medvedev, Saturday afternoon

All Hail Funkadelic!

I've been listening to a lot of Funkadelic lately, and I've noticed a bunch of awesome far-out, amazingly tight tracks that I seemed to have missed the last time I was in to them like this. That time was like more than ten years ago.

Let's Make It Last - Cosmic Slop
I'll Stay - Standing on the Verge of Getting it On
Be My Beach - Let's Take it to the Stage
The Song is Familiar - Let's Take it to the Stage

A Short Play

I write a lot of plays. Here's a short one I recently finished.

"LOVE, RANDY"

KATIE sits at a table, cutting coupons.

CHARLIE walks in, carrying a briefcase.


KATIE
How was work today?

CHARLIE
Busy.

(He sets down the briefcase, sits down at the table. He picks up part of a newspaper, starts reading.)

KATIE
Same as always?

CHARLIE
That’s right. No, no, I take that back. Something strange happened today. Fred, he wore a pink shirt in to work.

KATIE
Fred. Wheel of Fortune Fred?

CHARLIE
That’s Price is Right Fred. And no, not him.

KATIE
Sales Fred?

CHARLIE
You’re thinking of Fred Gregory. This Fred’s in HR. “Old Fred.”

KATIE
I don’t remember any HR Fred. How old is he?

CHARLIE
That’s because he never comes to the party. You’ve never met him.

KATIE
A pink shirt?

CHARLIE
Yes. Pink.

(He starts looking through the ad section of the newspaper.)

CHARLIE
Now here’s a nice blue sweater.

KATIE
Are you thinking of going to O’Flaherty’s tonight?

CHARLIE
You know, I think I’m staying in.

KATIE
Do you have plans tonight?

CHARLIE
No. No plans
(pause)
Why? Do you have plans?

KATIE
I was thinking of maybe going grocery shopping later.

CHARLIE
(looking at paper)
They say here that space travel, leisurely space travel, it will become considerably more affordable these next few years.

KATIE
Oh...

CHARLIE
What do you think about maybe going to outer space together?

KATIE
Well, I don’t know. What about Paris, Charlie?

CHARLIE
What about it?

KATIE
I thought we were thinking about visiting Paris or London in a few years.

CHARLIE
Paris? Now tell me, where is the adventure in Paris? Name one person you know who’s taken a space vacation.

KATIE
I don’t think we could afford to go on a space vacation, Charlie.

CHARLIE
Maybe I’ll just go.

(He stands up.)

KATIE
Are you going to O’Flaherty’s?

CHARLIE
To space. I’ve decided.

(He walks off. Katie continues to cut coupons.)

KATIE
I wonder how long he’ll be gone.

(Charlie returns with a shoebox, sits down at the table, opens the box. He takes out a few stacks of baseball cards.)

KATIE
What are those?

CHARLIE
My old baseball cards. If I’m going up into space, I’m going to have to sell a few things around here.

KATIE
None of my things.

CHARLIE
(looking through box)
I should be able to get, well, something for these.

KATIE
I didn’t know you collected baseball cards.

(Charlie looks at a photo he’s found in the box. He turns over the photo and finds an inscription.)

CHARLIE
“Love, Randy.”

KATIE
Hm?

CHARLIE
Randy. “Love, Randy.” Do you know a Randy?

KATIE
No, I don’t think so. No. Why?

CHARLIE
That’s what’s written here.
(holding up photo for her to see)
Do you know this guy?

KATIE
(squinting at photo)
No...Do you know him?

CHARLIE
I’m telling you right now...I’m warning you, if you know this person, this Randy--if you’ve ever known anyone named Randy, in any way whatsoever--you’d better be truthful to me about it.
(pause)
Well?

KATIE
Well, maybe I--

CHARLIE
I knew it.

KATIE
Maybe I once knew someone who went by that name. Very, very briefly, mind you. She lived down the hall from me. We’d have coffee once in a while, talk together about all sorts of things. We both liked musicals. We saw “The Wiz” together. But it wasn’t exactly love between us, Charlie.

CHARLIE
He.

KATIE
Hm?

CHARLIE
It’s a he in this picture.

KATIE
Well, you know, she never did give me a picture of herself.

(She laughs a little.)

CHARLIE
What’s so funny?

KATIE
It’s nothing...it’s just she wasn’t the most photogenic girl in the world.

CHARLIE
Enough. What I want to know is, how did this get in here? I know that I don’t know a Randy.

KATIE
I don’t know. Maybe Carla knew a Randy.

CHARLIE
Carla? She never mentioned any Randy to me.
(looks at photo)
Besides, why would Carla leave her photo in with my things?

KATIE
You lived together once, didn’t you?

CHARLIE
That was quite a long time ago. No, this isn’t that old. Actually, it looks pretty new to me.

KATIE
I wonder how Carla’s doing these days.

CHARLIE
Don’t change topics. I want to know where this thing came from.

KATIE
I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.
(stands up)
I wish I could. But I just can’t.
(starts to walk away)
What do you think we should have for dinner tonight, Charlie?

CHARLIE
Stop right there.

(She keeps going.)

CHARLIE
Stop!

(She stops.)

CHARLIE
There’s something wrong here. There’s definitely something to this. I can tell, you know. You’re not fooling me.

KATIE
Charlie--

CHARLIE
No, now turn around.

(She slowly turns around.)

KATIE
Yes?

CHARLIE
Walk back to the table.

(After a pause, Katie walks back to the table.)

CHARLIE
Sit down.

(Katie hides her face in her hands.)

CHARLIE
Sit!

(She sits down.)

CHARLIE
Take away your hands.
(pause)
Katie...Look at me.

(She takes away her hands.)

CHARLIE
You’re not even crying.

KATIE
I can’t.

CHARLIE
Pathetic. You’re pathetic, you know that?

KATIE
It’s not mine, Charlie. I’m telling you the truth.

CHARLIE
Then it made it in here by itself. By magic--that’s what you’re telling me.

KATIE
Maybe someone broke in and put it in there. As a sort of trademark or something. Remember when we had our TV stolen a few years ago?

CHARLIE
Listen--I am going to sit here and hold my breath in until you tell me.

KATIE
Charlie...

(Charlie holds his breath.)

KATIE
I’m sure there’s an explanation. Maybe, let’s see, maybe he’s a baseball player. Maybe that picture is worth something. People do collect autographs of baseball players, you know. Did you check to see if he looks like anybody on any of your baseball cards?

(He continues to hold his breath.)

KATIE
Wait, I know, maybe someone put it in there as a joke. Like Richard. Or J.P.--he was always playing practical jokes on you, wasn’t he, putting pink shirts and pink flowers in your drawers and closet and things like that? Didn’t you say once that J.P. and Richard and everybody used to joke about how you might be, you know...homosexual?

(He lets out his breath.)

CHARLIE
Know what? Forget about it.

(He rips up the photo. Katie starts to cry softly. He sits there and watches her cry for a few seconds, then he stands up. He starts to slowly walk away.)

KATIE
Where are you going?

CHARLIE
Space. Outer space.

(He exits. A moment later, he returns.)

CHARLIE
Tacos. Soft tacos. With refried beans. That’s what I want for dinner.

(He exits again. Pause. Katie stands up, walks off in the other direction. Lights fade out.)


END OF PLAY

My Metal Detector

As long as I can remember I dreamed of owning a metal detector. My dream has been fulfilled: for Christmas, my generous and thoughtful fiancee gave me one. Metal detecting has always represented freedom to me. The freedom to dig holes all over the place. The freedom to walk around looking like a total weirdo, totally immersed in the pursuit of buried treasure, oblivious to anything else but the pursuit of treasure. The freedom to get rich without paying taxes.

I took my metal detector on a trial run last week in my back yard, picked up a few "hot" spots, dug around in the mud (after hacking through a few inches of frozen dirt), and found four rusty nails in two hours.

Here's my horde:

Red House Painters--Best Rainy Sunday Music?

I really like slow, plaintive rock music and Red House Painters' "Rollercoaster" album from 1993 takes the cake. I can't stop listening to it. I downloaded RHP's entire discography after reading that they sounded somewhat like Great Lake Swimmers (or vice versa). Not sure if I agree with this comparison.

Corey Haim, R.I.P.

Thanks to my friend K.C. in LA I learned that Corey Haim died last night. I've been a C. Haim fan for a long, long time. A good guy, a very corny guy, a guy that could not cope, a guy who lived as a ghost. And now he is a ghost.

Here's a "Licensed To Drive" promo pic that I bought years ago on eBay for around $5.00, signed by the 2 Coreys:

My 5 favorite Corey Haim movies:

1. License To Drive
2. The Lost Boys
3. Blown Away
4. Demolition High
5. Prayer of the Rollerboys

Tagline for "The Double 0 Kid" (1992): "His Weapons: A Super Soaker and a Joystick. His Mission: To Save the World... Before Dinner!"

Tangerine Dream--Masterful Melodies

Addicted to a couple Tangerine Dream soundtrack tracks lately--when it come to TD I dig deep; real diamonds are these:

"The Night In Romania"
"War Days Sunrise" -- The Keep (1983)

"Charly The Kid"
"Out Of The Heat" -- Firestarter (1984)

"The Loser" -- Heartbreakers (1984)


Do you appreciate Tangerine Dream? You should!